Can adultery happen in a happy relationship?

When infidelity occurs, the important question is whether the relationship can survive after it.

Jul 30, 2022 - 14:21
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Can adultery happen in a happy relationship?

When adultery occurs in a relationship, the question immediately arises as to whether the lack of love for the partner is its cause. The sexual act does not have to be connected with love, because relations between the sexes are first based on drive, then on attraction, and only at the end, although not inevitable, does attachment occur.

Psychologists claim that love and sexual relations can be developed, although according to some, such as the British psychologist Elisabeth Shaw, a person who cheated once is ready to do it again after some time. Some people separate these two things, so in that case, adultery has nothing to do with feelings. There are also those who combine emotions and sex, and then the second face of adultery appears.

When infidelity occurs, the important question is whether the relationship can survive after it. "Infidelity does not have to destroy commitment if the relationship is stable. If it's bad, adultery is the way out of it," says sexologist Di Holmes and emphasizes that this does not justify cheating, but that it cannot be ignored as part of our reality. And how the one who cheats will justify the act depends on the case by case.

If the one who cheated wants to save the relationship, it is better to confess, because the doubt of the cheated party will create distrust. If feelings for a third person have arisen, people usually give themselves enough time
to think and evaluate which relationship is the safest for them. If the fraud is kept quiet, they want to keep both options.

When the choice is in favor of the existing relationship, it is crucial not to do what can hurt the partner. The story of adultery is rounded off by the question of whether adultery comes with forgiveness. "The deceived party can also forgive the adultery if he realizes that they still have mutual attachments," says the sexologist.

Adultery can solidify a relationship

Adultery can also strengthen a relationship, because, after it, the one who cheated can bond even more strongly with his partner and understand his values.

Experiences of psychotherapists say that half of the couples stay in a relationship after adultery

It is important that the deceived party also understands that the relationship must be repaired and changed, especially if the infidelity happened after many years of fidelity. Half of the couples break up after adultery, says the sexologist.

Post by: Rinna James